New Year’s resolutions have never held an allure for me. I don’t make them. Never have. I can’t imagine that, after several months of revelry and celebration, you will change all your behaviors in the turn of a calendar page; that just seems far fetched. Un-doable. Heck, it’s ripe for failure, and who needs that?
For the past 10 years, the month of August has found me battling desires to change due to travel. My family has our vacation in early August, and somewhere during those two weeks of slower pace and solace I find myself thinking about how I will change my ways when I get home. The ideas range from speed-of-life to intake-of-food to time-spent-relaxing during the rest of the year.
This year I actually pondered the fact that I do not own casual clothes. I have the clothes I work in and the clothes I exercise in, but I do not own sweatpants or whatever it is that people lounge in at home after a long day…clothes you could actually answer the door in (and they wouldn’t be your PJs). I also reached deep into the bottom of my psyche and discovered that basically I am either moving or at a full stop. As in: I work and play in one set of clothes, and, when it is time to read and sleep, I am in pajamas – fully showered and ready to sleep. There is no in between for me. I spent days thinking about this in the quiet of my chair on the beach and on the patio. It was easy to do in a swimsuit or a sarong. Nothing to bind me too tightly.
Usually soon after returning from Florida, I travel to New York every August with my sister for business. I love New York. Deeply. It does not scare me with its noise, scale or vibrancy. It does not make me feel un-cool for not living there. It does not make me feel lessened. However, it does make me want to go home and live a fuller life. It makes me want to walk to work and shop for groceries in smaller batches. It makes me yearn for public transportation and bakeries.
And then the month is over. So far, I have not hunted down new clothes for relaxing. Vacation is well over, and the bra is back on. I have not walked to work one time. We are shopping for groceries in smaller batches, but probably because grocery shopping has somehow become one of my least favorite things. I have not ridden the bus to work, because it doesn’t seem to want to take the route to drop my son at school, swing by Office Depot, and possibly run by the coffee shop to replace the iced tea I left sitting on the counter at home in my rush and bustle. The beautiful part of all of this is that my rich, full life is still just that. And, not having attempted actual and broadly stated resolutions, I have not failed at them.
That leaves bakeries.
p.s. Plant photos were captured in August in New York, Kentucky, Tennessee and Florida. I imagine that their resolutions were to bloom and grow. Right where they are.